I had someone reach out to me recently to do a podcast episode on a certain topic they wanted support with. I read further and when I got to the topic I realised this is something I am all too familiar with, and something that’s really common amongst high achievers.
The topic is: the pressure we put on ourselves based on our own assumption of what’s expected of us.
Think about times when you’ve received an email from a client and you’re already bogged down with work. You immediately get that sinking feeling because you know you won’t be able to respond for days and you tell yourself you’re letting them down.
But in reality… you have no idea whether this is urgent for them at all.
They could be expecting to hear back from you next week and yet you’re feeling guilty and stressed because it’s the day after you received the email and you haven’t opened it yet.
Then you happen to speak with the client about another project a couple of days later and you apologise for not responding to their email, and they say something like “no problem at all, if you can look at it next week, that would be great”
And suddenly you realise:
The pressure was imagined.
The guilt was unnecessary.
Then comes the next layer: “Why do I keep doing this to myself, why haven’t I learnt this lesson yet?”
As a recovering perfectionist and people-pleaser, I know this pattern inside out.
And the things is, it doesn’t just affect graduates and young professionals. This is very real for seasoned team members too.
I used to feel that familiar spike of anxiety every time I had a project in construction. Every query from the builder triggered my nervous system until I responded and resolved it. I wouldn’t let myself properly rest if anything was outstanding.
Until I learnt to catch myself in that cycle, question the urgency for myself and then do the deeper work on why I was defaulting to this pattern in the first place.
That’s exactly what I unpack in this week’s podcast episode:
🎙️Why You’re Rushing When No One Asked You To: Breaking the Habit of Self-Imposed Urgency.
If this topic resonates with you, listen to the episode on Spotify or Apple Podcasts.
So many of the habits we default to: rushing, stressing, feeling guilty, trying to keep up etc. often don’t come from what people are actually expecting from us.
They come from old patterns, old beliefs, and old ways we learned to feel safe, valued or capable.
And the moment you start noticing this pattern in yourself, things genuinely begin to open up.
You give yourself more breathing room, you create space to respond instead of react, and you start building a way of working that feels lighter and far more sustainable.
And if you’re curious about shifting the deeper beliefs, the people-pleasing, the over-responsibility, the perfectionism, that’s the next step of this work. With the right support, you can reshape how you show up at work in a way that feels confident, grounded and true to you.
I hope this week brings you a bit more space and ease.
– Nat
PS Feel free to forward this email to someone you know who puts way too much pressure on themselves. It might be the reminder they need today.
PPS If you’re curious about working with the underlying beliefs that create these patterns, book in a free clarity all and we’ll work out what would be the best fit for you. Book here.
