Resilience is one of those words that gets used everywhere. Workplaces talk about it in leadership programs. Communities talk about it after difficult seasons. Social media talks about it constantly, usually with advice about pushing harder, staying positive, and keeping going no matter what.
On the surface, that all sounds okay. But the way the word is often used carries an unspoken message: just push through. Don’t complain, don’t slow down, don’t let things get to you…just be resilient.
And the more I’ve worked with high-achieving professionals over the years, the more I’ve noticed how damaging that interpretation can be.
Because when people hear resilience framed that way, they start believing that if something feels heavy, it means they’re not handling it well enough. If they need support, they tell themselves they should be able to manage it alone. If they feel overwhelmed, the internal dialogue becomes: why can’t I just be more resilient?
But that version of resilience isn’t resilience at all.
It’s suppression.
It’s the habit of pushing feelings aside, carrying everything yourself, and convincing yourself that needing support somehow means you’re weak.
That misunderstanding is exactly why I wanted to explore this topic properly on the podcast.
The idea for the episode actually came from a listener who lives and works on a farm in regional South Australia with her husband. She's raising a family, managing a household and starting her own business as well as helping on the farm. Through the recent years of drought, she told me the word resilience gets thrown around a lot in her community.
Again, “Just be resilient.” As though that sentence alone should fix everything.
It made me pause, because when someone is already carrying that much, hearing “just be resilient” doesn’t feel supportive at all, it feels dismissive.
I wanted to unpack this topic properly, so I invited international author, speaker and resilience expert Carolyn Cranwell onto the podcast.
What I love most about Carolyn’s work is that it didn’t begin in theory, it is anchored in her own lived experience. For 18 years she cared for her husband who lived with younger onset Alzheimer’s, while raising a young family, managing a household and continuing to work. Through that experience, she began to recognise patterns in how people sustain themselves through prolonged difficulty and uncertainty.
Not the social-media version of resilience. The real version:
- The one that includes asking for help.
- The one that acknowledges exhaustion.
- The one that understands resilience is something we build over time, not a personality trait you either have or don’t have.
One of the things Carolyn explains in this conversation is that highly capable people often struggle the most with this idea. Because many of us carry internal stories that begin with “I should.”
- I should be able to handle this.
- I should figure it out myself.
- I should be stronger than this.
Those stories create enormous pressure, and ironically they undermine the very resilience we’re trying to cultivate.
Real resilience doesn’t come from pretending things aren’t difficult. It comes from recognising reality clearly and responding in ways that sustains you over the long term.
That’s a very different approach than simply pushing through.
If the word resilience has ever made you feel like you’re supposed to hold everything together no matter what, this conversation will give you a very different perspective.
🎧 If so, this week’s podcast episode is for you:
You can listen to the episode on Spotify or Apple Podcasts.
Part 1 focuses on Carolyn’s journey and the biggest misconceptions people have about resilience.
In Part 2, coming next week, we dive into the practical side and walk through the framework she developed for building resilience in real life.
If the word resilience has ever sounded like another way of saying “just push through” this conversation is for you.
– Nat
PS If you would like to explore Carolyn’s work, here are all the links:
💻www.globalpsychometricinstitute.com
📋 Fill out the contact form on the website to get in touch.
📕 Book: Hardcore Resilience – 7 Steps to Building Successful and Lasting Resilience in Your Business and Your Life
📝 Online Resilience Test (for individuals): The Cranwell-Cambridge Resilience Test
📝 Online Resilience Test (for employers): The Cranwell-Cambridge Resilience Test
💻 www.Navigating-Alzheimers.com
